[playlist: say it isnt so]

//silence_agony//

decided to blog cos i have no mood to do anything in my life.

it silts my lifeline to see you doing this to me.
a good intention backfired.
ha.
i'm never good.
i'm never loved.
something tad holds me on.
trambled down on me.
cause me to crumble
and fell on my knees crying.

a un- accepted sorry.
bottles of tears.
unwanted pain.
how i wished you know tad i'm currently missing you at this moment.
dun dare to dial your number cosi know you wouldnt want to hear me.
oh dear.
my heart shatters.
pain silted my lifeline.
it's going dead.

[playlist:say goodbye]

//angelique_silence//

this song seem to suit my mood now. not saying goodbye to anyone but to the music tad i've hold on since young.

now i've to give it all up..
all up..
you can say i'm a disgrace to the family.
you can say i've never done you al l proud.
you can say tad i'm the only brat tad flunk a simple piano test.
so wad?
you can say tad just a simple piano degree i cant get..
tad you all paid so much
and put in effort
and i've flunk.
i always will remember how you spitted at me
and say you'll disown me.
i'll always remember howyou shove me away..
i'll always remember the times i've to put up wid the cane.
i pulled through..
these years meant nothing is it?
do you have to be tad mean?
do you have to say until i'm not even worth living?
do you have to say i'm a jinx?
do you have to say you hate the sight of me?
do you?

[playlist: invisible]

//angelique*//

now is currently er.. going to 6.30.. i'm back to my habit to blogging..
want to do new blog.. hmmm.. a blog wid me and my dear.. *hint*
bleahs. after the ca la.
typed a email to her.
said all i guess i wanna say. err.. actaully not la.

well.many things happen and i'm learning how to cope wid it.
listeining to say it isnt so again.
duno why just have the urge to listen to this song.
seriously. i would really hope my darn hair will be back in no time.
i duno duno duno la
damn it can..take ages for it to grow so so long...
can wait la..
~die~
i'm am growing fat..
aint joking... going on a diet..
cos'm i'm seriously growing fatter and fatter...
so better be on the look out fer my diet..
if not really die die...
sigh.. i want to lose weight and i want my hair to grow back...

[ playlist: say goodbye]

// the external factor and internal factor of crashing thoughts//

been online and wanted to type something here..
feeling sticky and oily.. bleahs.. going to bathe soon.

i dun like the night only when i get to see stars.
stars tad can wished upon.
i dun believe in wishing stars anymore.
but i want to give it a try again.
i duno why.
but i just want to try again.
to find the part of me tad naively believes in wishing upon stars.
it has been a long while ever i wished upon stars.
since i was a kid.

i've been crying fer these few nights.
no reasons.
just cramped up in my inner being.
my soul went wondering in my deepest thoughts.

just came back.. went to bathe.
after bathing..
feeling fresh to study
haven study my bio at all.
like wad the.
ca is tomorrow.
and i'm here.. blogging..
still playing saying goodbye on my playlist.
it just keep on repeating.
i just want to place all my wishes on the tear drop stars.

i want to learn to wish again.
just like i want to fly .but i'm scared to try.
i want to be like a kid where i've no worries [ impossible]

[playlist:say goodbye]

// maybe is the external fare of stress//

just wanted to update my blog..

but ended up doing loads of stuff like printing this and that.

the night has got me thinking again..

thinking..

pondering..

i hated nights..

cos it just gets some part of me to think and think..

why am i even listening to this song...??who am i saying goodbye to??actually no one... but to some part of me tad makes me like this.. i guess i'm better off like this..
i'm sick and tired of being scared of this and tad. i sick and tired of you poking into my life when my life doesnt concern you at all.it is a free man world. i speak my mind. tad's wad i'm gonna do. aint going to sob here and let you interfere me and my life.
i can say i can dun bother but your presence. but you are just so interfering.

natalie: you're a nice gal.. really meant it in my heart. yupp. if dere's something tad i'm uhappy bout you. i aint going to bitch bout it. i'll tell ya str8 in the face. tad is the way it works fer me. take care :)

regrets. who wouldnt have? tad the word tad the whole world says when they feels guilty. the word tad the whole world avoid. the word tad i run away frm. everyone hates the word. everyone just hate tad word. so much. cos regret comes with a heavt price to pay.