gosh... my bro is crying... cos my maid is leaving...

damn.. and i dun feel like crying... am i human?? i duno..
maybe cos of things happening.. i'm starting to doubt my ownself..

someone.. come and assure me wad the hell i'm doing...

tears ran dry...
tears i swallowed it up...
tears i forced not to drop...
tears i dun wanna shed..
but most of it all..
tears cant come out..

damn... my bro is weeping and i am like so cool.. doing my blog...
he weep till so bad. and not even a tear fall down... and my father is like comforting him.. only the baby of the family gets pampered and comfort..
i cried infront of my father and all he said is why are you such a cry baby..
tad's why i swear i'm not going to cry infront of my parents..

and he is still weeping and my father is like telling him tad he will bring him out and crap.. giving in to his percious apple to his eyes...
sigh..i'm invisible in this family.. unless... i create trouble.. isnt it???
bleahs..who cares le... not going to bother..

okay.. let me see... you freakingly msg me at 4am.. let me bold it.. 4AM totally madness.... you just seem lyk you do not want to LEAVE my mummiee alone... FUCK... wad's the point of calling and calling when we are in heeren...

you LOSE evrything...??? SURE?? cos dere isnt us us anymore.... i GUESS!!!! cant you just dun be like super glue??? maybe you should see how SUPERGLUE react WID TURPENTINE..[ i duno how to spell it] but it is a liquid like thinner that actually causes the glue to not be sticky.. maybe you should just learn that.. hmm.. let me think.. nope... you MUST learnt tad.. if you cant get the thinner.... i can HAPPILY provide you wid it...

maybe all your tears are just excess h20 in your body tad your body can contain it anymore... so must some out somehow.. in another way or another... cos even 90% of your body in not enough to contain the h20..too.. much... by the rate you eat and drink... tad's explain why...

dun think tad only your life is screwed!!! cos think bout it this way... you screw my mummiee's life and den you just dun wanna leave her alone.. cos you think that she is still waiting fer you... PLS... dere are better ppl out there... you aint great.. dun blame on life .. dun blame that luck is not on your side.. cos LOVE aint needing any luck.. it ALL counts in the commitment and effort.. well... wad effort you put in ah?? eating and sleeping and saying words that in your world means a million or trillion bucks... tad your words can make someone happy and secure.. but look!!!! the wound is open.. you slashed another wound onto my mummiee's heart... wad are you gonna use to heal it?? your words?? pls.. it is like salt onto the wound. it will sooth the pain... but it will prick and cos the wound to infect... the best solution is just BUZZ off... just do tad.. dun even think of a 2nd chance...changing aint the word... cos you said tad since the 1st day.. but look at this... you did change.. but ... WAIT it is only fer a moment... see.. that's why there is a saying that no one can change unless you seriously love someone..

dun use the word love on my mummiee... dun say you LOVE her.. i really forbid you to say tad.. PLS.. tad seem insulting my name... DUN.. you say that one more time.. i seriously will scream till the roof drop... maybe.. your middle name should be ' B LAME' cos isnt tad wad you are best at... hmm.. not only tad.. you also damn chicken... ppl must also help you to ask wad you want...?? damn.....


you wanna come and create trouble fer us?? you wanna come to see how we hate you..?? you wanna come to flirt?? you wanna come and allow us to make life lyk a living hell?? you wanna come and thinkt tad you are tad great tad ppl will LOVE you.?? man... since you wanna come... COME IN by YOUR own sources... and we shall see who can stay in the school longer... anyway... and by the way... i have been in school fer 4 years.. going to 5 years... wanna play?? i WONT let you come in and create havoc in my school cos.. you dun have so much influence in anyway or another..

haas.. dear dear..

guess you would come online and update you stuff.. so i just leave a post here..

hope you had a good sleep... yupp... maybe you are still sleeping ... dat's why you neva reply me.. or wad la...

the weather is getting cold.. so yupp... remember to wear a pull over or something... yupp... it is not getting cold... it is really cold...

i duno why.. but today is really cold.. really really cold.. till i'm having block nose...

hmmm... will heaven cry again??? i duno.. but the weather is telling me that it will..

i guess... how great you fall is be the judgement of how much you judge and you
care..

i duno wad else to say bout her... [ you know .. i duno want to mention names] the immediate effect of the cahnge of name in my phone book and deleted on my list on my blog... i hate you so much... not fer myself.. but fer my mummiee.. and you better stop saying those lies that would lie through your teeth and being exposed in the end. but you will just carry on denying... wad kind of LOVE you are talking bout?? a type that you cant commit and PLAY? or the type that you only can COMMIT and love ONE ONLY?? you gave me this answer the first... that you can yet LOVE and LIKE all in the same time.. you hated people who cheat on there gurlfren.. you called them player, fucker and etc.. but now can i count you in the SAME gang??

i trusted you .. my dear did.. wad made me trust you is your tears.. and all you had said. that i have always been assuring mummiee that you love her alot ... thouigh she told me that you are taking her fer granted.. i WAS blind and believed you over my mummiee... and cos of this.. i owe my mummiee one too.. this daughter of hers.. saw her cry... and i know how hurt she is.. that when we were all repirmanding you.. you can even SING SONGS.. how serious can you get.. will you get anywhere in life like this...?? no.. no where... you will be just spinning around on the same spot.. many people warned me bout you.. i drop my defences bout you and all HELPED you look at wad we got in return... no only tad girl before.. another too.. and i wad the one telling you that you better dun anyhow think till youmade yourself lose your focus point...

now i can tell you.... you hurt my mummiee... and you made me feel damn screwed up... you made me feel as if i help to screw up my mummiee's life... thinking of the time that i spent with you talking... people say we are CLOSE.. but we are not.. cos i'm your complain post and your sub accompany person... that's wad i am... that hy in the start i hate people saying that i'm close to you.. though i dun show it .. but i really really hate it alot. too much to even be bothered to explain... i got many thrashing cos of you... and i still yet wanted to help you.. FUCK.. i just such a damn loser to believe in a person that had loads loads of exs... no wonder.. wad you say now.. really made your words worthless... damn worthless....

but most of it all... i hope to not see ya where my feet treads.. if you claim that you were too controlled and think that i'm..let me say.. this is from densye.. you would only let the person you love tie you down... but apparently the love that we are speaking are in different degress... perharps yours would be in the shallow pool that cant even reach your feet..

tell me where is the love ?? where is the love??

well... heaven is still crying...

yupp..

this is to my dear...

i duno wad is going through your mind... you seem to think that you did not do anything much fer me...

read this and know how i feel...

but you made me smile when i thought i wouldnt anymore..
you became the ray of sunlight after my storm in life...
you taught me how to love and care again...
you put faith in me to let me know that i am not worthless at all..
you created a big impact in my life that if you want me to let go.. i cant bear too..
cos i duno if i can take up the courage and suffering to let go...
you tend to my wounds when i think that these wounds will be open fer life...
you gave me a new pair of wings to try to fly again after my fall..
you gave me the key that fix exactly to the gate of happiness..
you made me realise how much my heart can hold only you..
you made me realise i'm here fer a reason.. and dat's love..

if i could be anything in this whole wide world, i'd be your tear drop. born in your eyes,live on your cheeks, die on your lips and marked in your heart as a mermory.
i love you .. i really do... it's from my heart...