i want to watch tv and eat my dinner.. but my maid happily did not cook fer me.. guess i'm on my diet again!! and she disappeared frm the house.. wad a maid.. dots can... gonna pack my room le.. yupp... make it look better.. hees.. anyway...

my bro is like playing playstation and cant he like freakingly just play he computer so i can watch tv.. -pouts- cos if not i cant watch tv and i duno how to play computer games one...

think this week going down monks 2 times in a week like rah... dots can... will chong like mad...

**mummiee happy birthday ya...!! lurve you -squeal-**

to my beloved mummiee.. i owe you one de.. wed... wed... kies.. hees.. really love ya .. so anything can say to me kies... me still little tired so will be pig pig fer da moment.. yupp..

hmm... me now really no voice at all.. yupp... really screwed cos no voice at all. no voice... ahh.. sob sob can... -pouts- so now i only can whisper can.. haiyo.. home le...

on friday.. err... tell you ah.. like the songs dere in monks are like no exciting can... but still nice to dance with yupp. but den... dots.. when i was in the bar top!! i almost drop cos many people are on the bar top and den it is like darn squeezey.. lucky i did not break my bones.. hees... very fun though .. dance at the platform and the bar top, dacne floor.. fun fun .. fun fun.. den we went to esplanade to ton can... blahs. bleahs.. was like going to sleep le.. but like also mentally hyper.. hees..so quite contradicting.. ended up i did not.. hees.. den i caught a cold lorz..

MUMMIEE AND PAPA!! next time dun like that le okay.. me see le scared scared.. yupp.. must be very very loving ya.. and with baby.. hees.. and me... dun forget me horz.. i love you guys loads lehz...

dots dots and commas commas.. like wad the can... i'm bored!! lalala... blahs.. we took neo prints too... haas.. some i really look retarded can... but it seem to be like all lorz... - sob sob-

den now i am figuring how to scan the neoprints in.. i sux at the scanner.. i think i really duno how to leh... ahhhh!!!!! i darn stupid can... fed up!!! we shall see if its okay.. cos it is scanning it now.. and it is like super small can!!! can le!! haas.. happy happy... smiles... ahhhh .. now i need to resize the pic!!!! if not cant upload to my fridae...

christmas is coming le..

mummiee and papa!!! baby and daddiee!!! i miss ya so so much can.. hmmmx... da rest of the people too...

shut up just shut up shut up.. shut it up just shut up shut up! =\
bleee!
i'm happily invading my precious nu er's blog whilst she's talking to my gan er zi~
weeee!!
my birthday's like coming SOON!
in 15 mins time.!
=P
lardeedahhs.
i'm listening to me against da musikkk..
oohers.
i'm SO ready to attack the bartop tmr!! =X =x =X !!
and my nu er AGREES.
heh heh.
so.. bungbos! watch out!
oops. i didn't sae that! *innocent look.
uh oh. joseph's here to start the countdownn!!!
wheeee..
i lurvee my nu er!!
ooo. shall stop here! muaxx. see yoo people at monks! =D
dA*[soul]++ posH_
all da people on da floorr. lemme see yoo dance! =D

something shows me the other side of things and i suddenly hate parents loads.. cos my mummiee's mum is like scolding my mummiee and being really really mean and being really harsh letting her feel like darn bad as if she was all in the wrong.. please.. it takes both hands to clap.. not only one is in fault !!! so stop pushing the blalme.. if it wasnt of how harsh her words and not being sensitive to her and how she feels.. all this wouldnt happen.. sometime words do hurt ppl alot even though words may seem to be blunt..

i'm in the study room hearing everything and i really feel like stomping out and say that it unfair.. and she can scold and play with the dog. how serious is she trying to be. or showing the disinterest in talking bout it.. this isnt the way to talk things out.. this is like trashing things out..

i duno wad am i suppose to do.. i feel like help my mummiee say somethings but it is like the mum is so unreasonable at this moment.. -pouts- i hope i can do something bout it can. but how am i suppose to be in help too..

the outcome of situation at the moment is grey,
it cant be seperated to black and white.
it cant be pushed to one's side.
it cant be blamed on one's attitude.
it cant be pint pointing to one's mindset.
but this is all happening. and it's unfair.

err..?? remember that in my earlier blog i say i'm happy..

but i seem to doubt so now..

ku le alot..

cant get to sleep at all..

sad le..

now like 4.30am..

eyes are just suppose to shut down ..

and suppose to go into my dreamland..

but ...

...

...

...

i'm wide awake...

mentally ... i refuse to let myself sleep..


everyone seem to be sleeping le.. or happy..


is it my turn to go away..?? and just have a loney travel alone..??


i duno la..

dee this is fer you.. just wanna tell you tad i'm happy fer ya...really.. tad as long you
are happy can le.. yupp..

hmm.. i am at baby dee's place.. yupp.. really tired!!! -pouts- *yawn yawn* but her room is really reeally cold cos the aircon is directly at me.. ~ahhh~ freezing le.. dots dots.. hees... but i'm happy today can.. really really really really happy!!!!!! yupp...keke.. my daddiee and baby hees... yupp.. happy happy la.. me jeolous le.. yupp... i'm tired tired.. - eyes closing- but my throat hurts loads.. like i'm having a darn darn bad one today.. actually i'm like going out ltr.. hees.. to bugis la.. yeee.. yeah yeah!!! think we like going to have fun ya..?? sure one.. but me like having only half life le..

actually .. .. i'm like darn darn ... ... [ fill in the blanks la] lalala... kies.. kies.. i'm bored bored!! yet tired!! -squints squint- lalala... but i dun think me going to dreamland.. didnt had a good dream though.. was pretty bad..

at val's place yesterday.. drank vodka!! whoa... tell you ah.. first time it taste very bitter..maybe it is cos the person drinking is sad.. that's wad my mummiee tell me cos when she drank it taste bitter too.. ~sob sob~ but i drank and it was nice and shiok can.. me face went red.. but i'm not drunk la.. yupp always drink le will become red red de.. duno why one.. weird body though.. haaaas...

saw my bro in cine can. wif his girlfren and he was like gosh.. gave me the 'wad are you doing here??!??' face and i was like dots dots dots.. cos i was in cine eating long john with all the fried food can..eat till like 10 .. but i left home around 8 plus so was like in town pretty late.. until i was at marina square. hees.. i want to drink again.. but haiyo... doubt so can..

my mummiee's birthday is coming le.. den going down to monks can.. but hor.. ... she want to dance bar top.. so i think i will go dance with her.. cos it seem like not many people are coming.. ~sob sob~ but i wanna celebrate and make it very big big one can .. yupp... hmmmx... so so...come kies..

currently i'm at val's place and den i am darn bored now... well.. nic sorry really really.. cos i am like so so busy to call.. ya..wadeva.... hmm...

me stoning .. eyes are going to close can... but today i am HAPPY!!!

something i had on my friendster.. lame though.. crapp..

1.What is the time right now? 1.26am
2. Name? tiffany
3. Preferred name? tiff.
4. What are you wearing right now? my roxy short and a shirt?.
5. Star sign? scorpio
6. Where do you live? ulu panda area
7. Gender? female
8. Single or taken? single
9. Righty or lefty?right.
10. Hair color? blackish brown..
11. Eye color? brown
12. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? i'm single.
13. Birthday? 10th nov

FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT ON GUYS
[this is not fer me right?oh it's fer me...but i am filling fer e sake of filling it in]
1. Boxers or briefs? actually boxers.
2. Long or short hair? short..long..?? eewww.
3. Dark or blonde hair? hmm.. no prefernce
4. Tall or short? not too tall/ not too short.
5. Six pack? firm can le.
6. Muscular arms? duh.. dun guys need to train their muscles to look good.
7. Good or bad guy? hmm.. not too good like a mama's boy and not that bad as a
mafia.
8. Hats or no hats? no hats.
9. Ears pierced or not? yesh. 4 on the left n 1 on the right.
10. Dimples? dimples are cute..
11. Study or cutie? depends
12. Dark or light eyes? Dark.
13. Fat or thin? firm.
14. Jewelry or none? errr?? duno..
15. Curly or straight hair? straight..
16. Freckles or no freckles? no.
17. Indoor or outdoor? outdoor.
18. Shy or outgoing? outgoing.. shy?? err.. ah dots..

FOR GUYS TO FILL OUT ON GIRLS
[tis is really not fer me to fill in.. i shall leave it blank]
1. Regular underwear or G?
2. Painted nails or not?.
3. Bra or sports bra?
4. Cute n mysterious or wild n sexy?
5. Dressy or casual?
6. Dark or blonde hair?
7. Long or short hair?
8. Dark or light eyes?
9. Long or short nails?
10. Hat or no hat?
11. Good or bad girl?
12. Fat or thin?
13. Hair up or down?
14. Jewelry on or none?
15. Short or tall?
16. Curly or straight hair?
17. Pants or dress?
18. Tan or fair?
19. Freckles or none?
20. Indoor or outdoor?
21. Shy or outgoing?

EVERYONE
1. Would you date someone just for his/her looks? looks is another thing la.. wat matters is the feel..
2. Chocolate or white milk? white one.. taste better and not too thick too.
3. Mud or jelly? err..??
4. Skiing or boarding? boarding
5. Summer or winter? think both is equally lovely..
6. Cake or pie? cake!! pie!! i want both!!.
7. Silver or gold? Silver/ white gold.. but i dun fancy them anyway..
8. Sunset or sunrise? i love watching both can..
9. Have you ever fractured/broken/sprained a bone? nope. never.
10. What's your favorite color? black,pink,white and sky blue
11. Do you hate anyone? err.. hardly.. but sometimes..
12. What do you dream about? being really really happy cos life at times is miserable
13. Do you have a HUGE crush on someone right now?guess so.. not telling who.. my mummie knows.. right mummiee?? -grins-
14. Who's the loudest friend? err... my papa!
15. Who's the quietest friend? err.. . please..!!
16. Who do you tell your dreams to? my mummiee
17. What shampoo and conditioner do you use? herbal escence..
18. How many TVs in your house? 1
19. Who's the last person you called? i called? my daddiee
20. Where do you want to get married? hawaii.
21. Favorite number?7!
22. Favorite boys names? dots. .
23. Favorite girls names? ryane.
24. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? haas. nope!
25. Have you been in love? definatlt before..

[*10 people you want to meet:] [not in order kies]
1. -so far yet so far-
2. mummiee
3. daddiee
4. p.L.
5. papa
6. yeh yeh
7. val!!
8. jenny
9. dee!!
10. God

[*9 things you wear almost everyday:]
1.err..??my inner garments.
2. clothes lijke shorts and tops
3. earrings to keep the percings alive.. haas
4. hairband at home
5. my frenship band that is tied on my right ankle dats from my daddiee and yeh yeh.. hmmm.. it never leaves from the day i tied it on.
6. necklace..??
7. fuck bands..?? but now they are all with my mummiee.
8. errr..??? my perfume.. does it count..??
9. last one!! my shades!

[*8 of your favorite foods:]

1. chocolate!
2. pizza ..
3. cheese cake
4. chicken rice that my maid cook..
5. grapes!
6. junk food. whick i'm not allow to eat much.. cos i will grow fat!
7.candies
8. errr..?? alcohol drinks..?? can count not..?

[*7 of your closest friends ]
1. mummiee
2. daddiee
3. papa
4. p.L
5. yeh yeh
6. err..? now ah..?? gee..?? jenny.. hahas nope.. i crap with her..
7. fiona [mgs]

[*6 of your favorite shows:]

1. friends
2. charm
3. err.?? vcd counted..??some chinese show that i watch at keith place and made me and my mummiee cry.
4. simpsons the vcd!
5. sponge bob square pants!!
6. cant think le! i hardly watch tv nowadays..

[*5 things in your room:]

1. hi-fi
2. stacks of cd
3. mt classic winnie the pooh
4. my xiao bai
5. lastly and last!! my bed!!

[*4 things u eat today:]

1. fishy ball.
2. chocolate cake
3. the chicken rice my maid cook
4. carrot cake.[ that type fry black black add loads and loads of chillie]

[*3 things you could not live without:]
1. cash
2. family and 'familiee' [e blacks] and frens..
3. having fun!

[*2 books you recently read:]

1. inside out. [ a darn cool book bout us]
2. err..? textbook fer geog hmwk! ahh make me sound like a nerd.. hees.

[*1 person you can't go a day without mentioning:]

1. my 'familiee'

ahh... i finally complete!!!

dun ask me wad happen to me.. i duno at all.. i still rather stoning,, but recovering from that stage for crying. went to esplanade cos my papa, yeh yeh, daddiee and p.L was there waiting for me cos i said i wanna go there. yup. was caught missing and my real father was like telling me to behave if not got bad eggs come and catch me den i would be in serious trouble.

-darn- i am still bloody pist with my brother.since yesterday. he took the jar of chocolate and aet it. den after eating mych den he asked me if he could have some. so i just shut up and did not even say a word. den he happily take the whole jar and ate the chocolate.. leaving only like a tiny bitsy bit left. and even have the damn cheek to tell me that only left so little. den just now he demanded to watch his star wars which he has already watch upteem times. so darn it.. nvm. i dun have the mood to quarrel with him at all..

i still awn to go to the usual place and just stone and stone .. i still feel like a man wothout a soul.. a heart without a homw or even a star without light.. i feel cold.. so cold.. it has been like that since yesterday.. but i control and i will not cry at all.i'm tired of living.seriously. too tired. but.. but.. i still have to carry on right? mummiee. i love you so so much.so happy that i could talk to you on the phone till your handphone low batt. sob sob. i hope papa found you. cos she did not call me at all. so i presume papa found you.i hopetoo.

got the keys of my own room yupp. so i can lock the door yupp. hees. so no one can come in.so you know wad it means right mummiee?

now is sunday le. another day. suppose to be a brand new day. yuppp. i'm all alone at home. actually not all alone but as in i miss my mummiee and the rest le.still in the same mood. want to esplanade and stone dere. but i guess if i would go out now and i am found missing it would be worse.

a man can lose his mind living with the pain from within

i guess this phrase is so so right.. i'm really losing my mind. my daddiee called me and ask whether i'm okay? my mummiee too.. sorry daddiee and mummiee.. i lied.. so you all wont worry.. i lied that i'm okay and i'll be okay. cos i duno wad's wrong with me.. i really really duno wad's wrong.. if i knew i would just allow myself to fix it up.. but the worse thing is i duno at all.. i am sorry daddiee and mummiee.

[wad's happening to me?] [wad's happening to me?] [wad's happening to me?]
[wad's happening to me?] [wad's happening to me?] [wad's happening to me?]
[wad's happening to me?]

[why does it hurt so much?] [why does it hurt so much?] [why does it hurt so much?]
[why does it hurt so much?] [why does it hurt so much?] [why does it hurt so much?]
[why does it hurt so much?]

i duno wad's tormenting inside of me. i wanna know wad is it? and i'm sure i can ask myself this... am i really happy?me too. guess i'm gonna stone and stare onto my ceiling cos i keep on having nightmares. or i feel as in i'm falling down or someone stabbing me in my sleep.i feel tat this life is like wanting to play with me and tell you LIFE.. i lose. wan bu qi.